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Croque-Monsieur

26 Apr 2009

As a first note for this (supercool) blog, I’ve chosen Gastronomy! Fuck Yeah!

Today we’ll be making Croque-Monsieur. This delicious meal provides > 9000 percent of daily’s RDA for fat and tastiness.

The requirements are limited:

## Step One

Take 2 slices of bread, put them on a dirty table near your computer’s keyboard as shown:

This is very important: make sure you set your two slices symmetrically.

## Step Two

Add cream. You want the coating to be quite thin. Just use cream as a plaster, to smooth the bread’s irregularity. A spoon, fork, or RAM module make good tools for this.

Step Three

Next layer is the grated cheese. Nothing special here, just add ‘enough’. It’s OK if you end up messing up your desk, keep it for the next munchies.

Step Four

Last part is ham. Use half a slice.

## Step Five

This is the tricky part and require concentration. You’ll have to fold the ham-ed half over the other half. Don’t do it the other way! You’ll spill more cheese, and an over-greased desk is not really comfortable.

If you’re not certain of your swiftness, you can hold the ham to keep the cheese from falling. Oh yes, you should have washed your hands.

Two croque-monsieur are OK for a meal, so I’ll just make four.

The blue pen-like thing in the background is a de-solder pump, and has nothing to do with the recipe.

Step Six

In France, every family needs a dedicated kitchen ustensil for the cooking step. It also comes with the cast to cook waffles.

We’ll assume that you’ve sold your because of a difficult economic situation, so we’ll just use a basic electric oven. Just put your new CMs in the oven. You’ll want them to roast for around 10 minutes at 240°C (1).

You’ll want to get this color and texture:

And it’s done !

Step Seven

This is the best part of the recipe, the MIAM!

There are three different ways to eat your CM.

The first one consists in cutting it in parts with fork and knife (this is the preferred way if you still haven’t washed your hands). Your CMSs will keep a certain integrity and all your bites will taste even.

The second one is a slight variation of the first one and you won’t have to use any more tool. This is the preferred way if all your dishes are dirty. Bonus for the longest thread of melted cheese!

Last one is the most creative. It consists in following the reversed preparation steps. Pry open your CM and then eat the ham first.

Then scrape the yummy mixture composed of melted cheese and cream, and crumb with a fork.

Last but not least, eat the roasted bread. This way lets you taste separately all the different ingredients.

And that’s all ! Now you’re full of croque-monsieur. How do you feel? Happy, calm and heavy for sure.

If you want to know more about croque-monsieur, just browse this wonderfully detailed website.

(1) That’s thermostat 8, if you’d need the equivalent in farenheits, you’re in the wrong country.