Important numbers

When I moved in Paris a little more than one year ago, I found in my mailbox a little card, very clear, which listed all the important numbers to know: in case of fire, the police, different medical emergencies, etc. I first thought how handy this could be, given that I just can’t remember those numbers. France have different ones for different services: 15 for SAMU, police office is 17 and firefighters is 18.

So I kept that card, and carefully put it away on the first available horizontal surface (I’m now definitely lacking those). I somewhat started to think more about it when I noticed some numbers were written in red, while the other one were in plain black. Those were actually the least ‘important’: locksmith, plumber, heating apparels repair, glazier, etc.

This wasn’t right. This was definitely some kind of advertisement. Especially since the numbers in red were actually the same!

This is a very clever idea, this card really looked quite innocent and helpful.

This how I started my “Important numbers” cards collection.

As I’ve said sooner, I’ve been in Paris for a little more than 12 months now and I’ve collected 27 different INCs (1) for a great total of 40. That’s a little less than one INC every week.

So today I’ve decided to share my collection to the world !

They come in many different sizes, from business card:

to A5:

They always bear a combination of the advertising company’s own numbers and a mix of emergency services numbers and other “useful things to know”.

This is an exhaustive list of the “Emergency numbers” in no particular order, translated with the best of my google/wikipedia searching skills:

• Mairie (Town Hall)
• Pompiers (Firefighters)
• SAMU
• Comissariat (Police Station)
• Préfecture de police (Police HQ)
• Pharmacie (Drugstore)
• SOS Pédiatrie (Pediatrics Emergency)
• SOS Dentiste (Dentists Emergency)
• SOS Médecin (Emergency Medicine)
• Brulures graves (Serious Burns Emergency)
• Urgences médicale (Medical Emergency)
• Centre antipoison (Antipoison Center)
• Orly réservations (Orly airport booking (2))
• SNCF (Most Potent Rage Inducing Website)
• Airfrance (French Airplane company)
• Roissy Réservation (Roissy airport booking)
• Taxi G7 (Taxi company)
• Alcooliques Anonymes (AA)
• Sida info services (AIDS help hotline)
• ADP (Parisian Airport Authority)
• GDF (Natural gas distribution company)
• EDF (Electricity supplier company)
• Fourrière (Pound)
• Chèquiers volés (Stolen checkbook)
• Drogue infoservice (Drugs)
• Opposition CB (Stolen credit cards)
• SOS Viol (Rape help service)
• Impôts (Tax)
• SOS enfance maltraitée (Abused children emergency)
• SOS Sans abris (Homeless emergency)
• RATP (On Strike)
• SOS Racisme (anti-racism NGO)

Now this quite a sorry list. There’s no “happy fun time” emergency nor SOS Kebab 24/7 numbers.

The other “useful things to know” mostly consist in simplified calendars or are about how to react in case of accident. One of the INC had a map of the Parisian subway, in a small format, which could be actually quite handy. Some examples are following.

I’m sorry for the shitty pictures, but the gloss finish of the cards prevents the use of flash.

The people behind INCs also know how to glide on hype :

Thanks for the IMC ! But I can’t find any number for Diet and Sport Coaching Emergency.

Again, sorry for the crappy pics. I’m willing to disclose my address to anyone willing to send me a working scanner.

The INC often come in a sober layout with only emergency and advertised numbers alternatively listed. But some of them wanted to be more creative, from plain patriotism:

To patriotic boy-band-ism:

The woman on the left is surely some feminine dude with a blowtorch.

I’ll give the gold medal to the INC with the most profound warning:

DO NOT SMOKE THE CARD. It’s bad for your lungs. And we don’t have the SOS Lung Cancer number.

And now for some statistics: Each card show 2.82 different numbers, for 6.82 different crafts.

Those craft industries generally use different consecutive numbers to hide the fact that they can actually handle everything from fixing your clogged toilets to pest eradication, computer help and Door opening (3).

That’s all for those! I don’t know if you have this scheme all around the world, let me know!

I’ve also discovered a few new words in the field of craft industry but unfortunately I need all the memory space possible to learn ikaruga’s paths and enemies placement…. in easy mode.

• (1) Important Numbers Cards. Wasn’t it obvious??
• (2) Yarly !
• (3) I don’t know who thought it was a good idea to make doors without an outside handle but he’s on my “People-to-kill-when-I-build-my-time-machine list. I mean WTF?! Who thought it was a good idea to be forced to take your keys with you when you have to take the trash out ?? And who in the world leave his flat and just slam the door closed, when the only thing it takes to open it is some ID card ??? SRSLY