03 Aug 2009
Hey guys, Amazon wants 10€ (+shipping) for this:
and I can’t find anything close on DealExtreme, so I’ve decided to keep my precious money, in this terrible economic situation, and we’re all going to die, and everything.
There’s just no fucking way I let airplane-provided crappy earphones rape my tender Pinna and External auditory meatus.
That’s why I’ve summoned Renzotech skills!
The loops makes all the show:
A little close up on professional soldering:
Black Pressure-Sensitive Tape adds a little bdsm touch to the scene:
And voilà! If you want to build your own airplaine earphone adapter thingy, here’s the corresponding schematic:
Actually, I’m not even sure if that will work, I’ll test it by mid August. Stay tuned!
29 Apr 2009
When I moved in Paris a little more than one year ago, I found in my mailbox a little card, very clear, which listed all the important numbers to know: in case of fire, the police, different medical emergencies, etc.
I first thought how handy this could be, given that I just can’t remember those numbers. France have different ones for different services: 15 for SAMU, police office is 17 and firefighters is 18.
So I kept that card, and carefully put it away on the first available horizontal surface (I’m now definitely lacking those). I somewhat started to think more about it when I noticed some numbers were written in red, while the other one were in plain black. Those were actually the least ‘important’: locksmith, plumber, heating apparels repair, glazier, etc.
This wasn’t right. This was definitely some kind of advertisement. Especially since the numbers in red were actually the same!
This is a very clever idea, this card really looked quite innocent and helpful.
This how I started my “Important numbers” cards collection.
As I’ve said sooner, I’ve been in Paris for a little more than 12 months now and I’ve collected 27 different INCs
(1) for a great total of 40. That’s a little less than one INC every week.
So today I’ve decided to share my collection to the world !
They come in many different sizes, from business card:
to A5:
They always bear a combination of the advertising company’s own numbers and a mix of emergency services numbers and other “useful things to know”.
This is an exhaustive list of the “Emergency numbers” in no particular order, translated with the best of my google/wikipedia searching skills:
- Mairie (Town Hall)
- Pompiers (Firefighters)
- SAMU
- Comissariat (Police Station)
- Préfecture de police (Police HQ)
- Pharmacie (Drugstore)
- SOS Pédiatrie (Pediatrics Emergency)
- SOS Dentiste (Dentists Emergency)
- SOS Médecin (Emergency Medicine)
- Brulures graves (Serious Burns Emergency)
- Urgences médicale (Medical Emergency)
- Centre antipoison (Antipoison Center)
- Orly réservations (Orly airport booking (2))
- SNCF (Most Potent Rage Inducing Website)
- Airfrance (French Airplane company)
- Roissy Réservation (Roissy airport booking)
- Taxi G7 (Taxi company)
- Alcooliques Anonymes (AA)
- Sida info services (AIDS help hotline)
- ADP (Parisian Airport Authority)
- GDF (Natural gas distribution company)
- EDF (Electricity supplier company)
- Fourrière (Pound)
- Chèquiers volés (Stolen checkbook)
- Drogue infoservice (Drugs)
- Opposition CB (Stolen credit cards)
- SOS Viol (Rape help service)
- Impôts (Tax)
- SOS enfance maltraitée (Abused children emergency)
- SOS Sans abris (Homeless emergency)
- RATP (On Strike)
- SOS Racisme (anti-racism NGO)
Now this quite a sorry list. There’s no “happy fun time” emergency nor SOS Kebab 24/7 numbers.
The other “useful things to know” mostly consist in simplified calendars or are about how to react in case of accident. One of the INC had a map of the Parisian subway, in a small format, which could be actually quite handy. Some examples are following.
I’m sorry for the shitty pictures, but the gloss finish of the cards prevents the use of flash.
The people behind INCs also know how to glide on hype :
Thanks for the IMC ! But I can’t find any number for Diet and Sport Coaching Emergency.
Again, sorry for the crappy pics. I’m willing to disclose my address to anyone willing to send me a working scanner.
The INC often come in a sober layout with only emergency and advertised numbers alternatively listed. But some of them wanted to be more creative, from plain patriotism:
To patriotic boy-band-ism:
The woman on the left is surely some feminine dude with a blowtorch.
I’ll give the gold medal to the INC with the most profound warning:
DO NOT SMOKE THE CARD. It’s bad for your lungs. And we don’t have the SOS Lung Cancer number.
And now for some statistics:
Each card show 2.82 different numbers, for 6.82 different crafts.
Those craft industries generally use different consecutive numbers to hide the fact that they can actually handle everything from fixing your clogged toilets to pest eradication, computer help and Door opening (3).
That’s all for those! I don’t know if you have this scheme all around the world, let me know!
I’ve also discovered a few new words in the field of craft industry but unfortunately I need all the memory space possible to learn ikaruga’s paths and enemies placement…. in easy mode.
- (1) Important Numbers Cards. Wasn’t it obvious??
- (2) Yarly !
- (3) I don’t know who thought it was a good idea to make doors without an outside handle but he’s on my “People-to-kill-when-I-build-my-time-machine list. I mean WTF?! Who thought it was a good idea to be forced to take your keys with you when you have to take the trash out ?? And who in the world leave his flat and just slam the door closed, when the only thing it takes to open it is some ID card ??? SRSLY
26 Apr 2009
As a first note for this (supercool) blog, I’ve chosen Gastronomy! Fuck Yeah!
Today we’ll be making Croque-Monsieur. This delicious meal provides > 9000 percent of daily’s RDA for fat and tastiness.
The requirements are limited:
## Step One
Take 2 slices of bread, put them on a dirty table near your computer’s keyboard as shown:
This is very important: make sure you set your two slices symmetrically.
## Step Two
Add cream. You want the coating to be quite thin. Just use cream as a plaster, to smooth the bread’s irregularity. A spoon, fork, or RAM module make good tools for this.
Step Three
Next layer is the grated cheese. Nothing special here, just add ‘enough’. It’s OK if you end up messing up your desk, keep it for the next munchies.
Step Four
Last part is ham. Use half a slice.
## Step Five
This is the tricky part and require concentration. You’ll have to fold the ham-ed half over the other half. Don’t do it the other way! You’ll spill more cheese, and an over-greased desk is not really comfortable.
If you’re not certain of your swiftness, you can hold the ham to keep the cheese from falling. Oh yes, you should have washed your hands.
Two croque-monsieur are OK for a meal, so I’ll just make four.
The blue pen-like thing in the background is a de-solder pump, and has nothing to do with the recipe.
Step Six
In France, every family needs a dedicated kitchen ustensil for the cooking step. It also comes with the cast to cook waffles.
We’ll assume that you’ve sold your because of a difficult economic situation, so we’ll just use a basic electric oven.
Just put your new CMs in the oven. You’ll want them to roast for around 10 minutes at 240°C (1).
You’ll want to get this color and texture:
And it’s done !
Step Seven
This is the best part of the recipe, the MIAM!
There are three different ways to eat your CM.
The first one consists in cutting it in parts with fork and knife (this is the preferred way if you still haven’t washed your hands). Your CMSs will keep a certain integrity and all your bites will taste even.
The second one is a slight variation of the first one and you won’t have to use any more tool. This is the preferred way if all your dishes are dirty. Bonus for the longest thread of melted cheese!
Last one is the most creative. It consists in following the reversed preparation steps. Pry open your CM and then eat the ham first.
Then scrape the yummy mixture composed of melted cheese and cream, and crumb with a fork.
Last but not least, eat the roasted bread. This way lets you taste separately all the different ingredients.
And that’s all ! Now you’re full of croque-monsieur. How do you feel? Happy, calm and heavy for sure.
If you want to know more about croque-monsieur, just browse this wonderfully detailed website.
(1) That’s thermostat 8, if you’d need the equivalent in farenheits, you’re in the wrong country.
21 Apr 2009
This is bat country…